The Real Me And The Absolute Truth (This Ain’t Easy)

Hi Everybody, my name is Dexter and this is my first post here in the Empower Network. I know a lot of people post on a lot of different things to help their business, but what I really want to share my story and interests, and ultimately connect with others who can relate.

Now, before I actually get into my post, I want to tell you about a very important promise I made to myself a short while ago, (and it explains the title of my post). I promised myself, that no matter what, you and others who visit my blog, will get the unfiltered, unadulterated me.

I don’t want to be one of those people who just post to post stuff. I want to build relationships that mean something, and contribute to someone else’s well-being and happiness, and in order to do that, you have to know the real me, good and bad;

REAL people have bad days too and not everything happens the way you want or plan – you get all of it. So… like me or don’t, you get the real deal and the real me… none of that fake “all good, think positive, put your best foot forward” stuff.

THAT is my promise…

 So Who Is The REAL Me?

As I said, my name is Dexter, I’m 34 (at the time of this post), I am a Christian, and even though it’s a hard thing for a lot of people to understand, it is something I’m proud of… I live at home with my family.

How did I get here?

At one point we were really hard up for cash. I was out of work for a while so we sold my car for a few hundred bucks to help out. My sister, (one of three), who at the time was in college for nursing, gave birth to my niece, so I decided to sacrifice a big chunk of my life and stay at home and help raise my niece, and help my family.

Later on my nephew came along, my mom was diagnosed diabetic, and a few other things happened, so instead of going out and looking for work, I decided to continue to stay at home and start my own business.

So for the past few years now, I’ve been working at home programming, fixing computers, building websites and such as my primary source of income. Most of it is contracting myself out to other companies; 3-month contracts, 6 month contracts and so on.

Some days were better than others, but we were making ends meet.

My passion and dream:

… But during all of this time I’ve had a passion for music. Even though I do a lot of things, if you were to ask me what I do for a living, I’d tell you that I run my own business and I am a musician and composer.

Have any of you ever had a moment that just changed your life?  One of those “how cow” moments where you discover something new… I had one of those moments back in middle school.

At our school we had something called the wheel program, and what happens is that every few weeks, you’re taken to a different elective like chorus, band, art, different sports, and so on, and the one you wanted to do, would be the elective you took for high school.

For me that was orchestra. I was sitting in the back of the classroom watching and listening to the other student play and I thought it was the absolute coolest thing I’ve ever seen; I was also the one without an instrument.

The teacher looked at me and asked me what I wanted to play and I had no idea. She asked me to stand up and I was pretty tall back then, (I’m 6 foot 8 now, but was about 6 foot 2 back in middle school – REALLY tall), and she told me to go and get a bass.

I had no clue what a bass was; i’d never seen one before and one of the students pointed one out. After a few minutes of learning how to hold it, I pulled the bow across the strings for the first time and I fell in love, and since that day, music has been a passion of mine.

I went on to write a book called Music for the Simple Man, and I composed classical music, and if you look at my pic on here you’ll see my double bass in the background.

Along with music, my dream to be a full time musician started. EVERYTHING I’ve done to this very day, in some way, is me fulfilling my dream of one day being able to just play music and not have to stress about making money, and paying bills, and fixing the car, worrying about everything.

The dream that failed.

I mentioned earlier that real people have bad days too and that not everything works out the way you want or plan, and this is how you know I’m being completely honest…

I didn’t get my dream… yet! Hard times hit. My dad lost his job, we had a house fire, and for a very long time we faced countless obstacles and problems that just seemed to come up from everywhere. My family lost almost everything.

I won’t go into too many specifics and details because a lot of this is very personal to my family, but we were living in a lean-to (that’s a shack) that we built ourselves and there were days where we didn’t know where our next meal was coming from.

We had to rely on the local church and neighbors to eat, we had to hide our van so it wouldn’t be repossessed, and we saw the worst in people who instead of trying to help us, or at the very least leave us alone, tried their best to take away the little we had – literally trying to run us out of the community.

But at the same time we saw the best in people. People who gave and helped without ever asking anything in return – people who I love and consider best friends to this day, whether they realize it or not.

 The journey to where we are today, wasn’t easy, but I still have my dream!

I said that I didn’t get my dream… YET for a reason – I refuse to give up!  I can’t explain it exactly, except to say there is something inside me, a desire if you will, that won’t let me just lay down and die to all of the problems that come into my life.

The passion still burns! What inspires me.

And as I look back over my short life of 34 years, I see how much others have sacrificed and given (my parents especially), and I feel it would be the greatest insult to all of them if I didn’t see it through; and I want to give back as much as I’ve received.

I don’t feel indebted to them, but obligated to them. I feel obliged to be successful, not just to those that have helped me, but to myself and to my future family.

The truth of the matter is that I have already achieved great success in overcoming all of the obstacles and challenges thus far. I work from home, I’m surrounded by family, I have great friends, I still play and write music… and my ultimate dream is already in the making.

The making of my dream.

One of the things I’ve always done is try to help other musicians be successful. I’ve been running a small side business providing resources and tools, as well as helping musicians to better promote themselves.

Along the way I’ve composed and published classical music, written a book, created an online course helping people learn to read music and a few other things, but a year ago, I decided to push my dream and make it a reality, so I started designing and programming what is now Music Sense.

More brutal honesty… the road hasn’t been easy. Among the biggest opposition I have, as much as I love them is family. In my house, in spite of the sacrifices I make, there has been times when my family treats me like a lazy, good for nothing, bum.

Nobody like to speak ill of their family but not everyone “get it” that when you’re pushing a dream, the little things like undisturbed time to think and work, saying no to a parent that’s upset and demanding your time, locking your door and ignoring phone calls so you can meet a deadline, missing events like birthday parties, not going out with friends, and much more are the trademark of people who will one day have more than enough time to devote to them.

I’ve had to accept that they won’t get it, and won’t understand it no matter how much I explain… not everyone wants to or cares about what you have to do in order to be successful. It’s that simple.

All they know is that you weren’t there for a party, or you forgot a birthday, or not having to time to help with a project, or something else that makes them upset with you.

There are other obstacles that have come up as well, but Music Sense is doing well and growing, but it’s still an early start up and there are a few growing pains that I know I will face, but here is the important thing…

My dream is happening!

Every day that I learn, grow and overcome, I get one day closer to finally being able to sit back and play music all day, hang out with friends and family, and be able to give back to the world in a way that matters.

In Conclusion…

I know this has been a long post, but I hope you have a better idea as to who I am and what I’m all about. My dreams may not seem all that spectacular in comparison to some others out there, but I’m a simple person and happiness to me isn’t about what I own in life, but the quality of life I live.

If you are a person with a dream and the guts to see it through, then you are a person I’d like to get to know…

Will you join me on Facebook?
~ Subscribe and say hello!

PS: Subscribe to my RSS feed and stay tuned for great new music and events from talented musicians – I promise it’s the best music you’ve probably never heard!

If you are a musician, please visit Music Sense to find out more about how you I can help you to get more fans/followers, increase your bookings and event attendance, and ultimately get more sales and become more financially successful.

Thanks everyone! I truly appreciate you…


About the author

Entrepreneur, programmer, musician, stay at home uncle, video game aficionado, movie connoisseur, pool shooting junkie... In other words, just an every day regular guy living an extraordinary life and working from home. Enter your name and email address in the form on the left to find out how you can too.

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